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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27747109">Past the Point of No Return</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blurry_Lights/pseuds/Blurry_Lights'>Blurry_Lights</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>75th Hunger Games, Angst, F/F, Romance, The Capitol (Hunger Games), Torture</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:14:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,887</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27747109</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blurry_Lights/pseuds/Blurry_Lights</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>According to Capitol press, the 75th Hunger Games are going to be the best in history. To Johanna Mason, they're something she needs to survive in order to help fan the spark of rebellion into an inferno. When Katniss Everdeen shows up at her door at midnight, Johanna realizes that this is going to be a lot harder than she thought.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Katniss Everdeen/Johanna Mason</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Midnight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic takes place starting mid-Catching Fire and will continue through Mockingjay.</p><p>Also, I thought I'd mention that I messed around with the ages a bit so Katniss is eighteen and Johanna is twenty.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Let’s do it again some time!”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna turned on her heel and strutted away from the elevator. Her smirk faded into an expression of mild discontent. Sighing, she turned her doorknob and headed into her room. She grabbed the closest bottle she could reach and poured it into a cup. She stopped at one cup, though. There was no way she was getting drunk tonight--she couldn’t afford to have a hangover tomorrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She buried her face into her hands and groaned loudly. There was a slew of emotions brewing in her chest, and she did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>want to deal with them right now. Johanna stood up and walked into the bathroom. Despite having used the Capitol showers a plethora of times, they still made no sense to Johanna.</span>
</p><p><span>After blasting herself with boiling water, freezing water, and </span><em><span>way </span></em><span>too much pine-scented soap, (</span><em><span>funny,</span></em><span> she thought, </span><em><span>the</span></em> <em><span>girl from 7 smells like pine</span></em><span>) she was finally rid of the makeup her prep team had caked onto her face.</span></p><p>
  <span>She put her hand on a square on the counter, which sent a kind of current through her that dried and detangled her hair, leaving it smooth and straight. She had removed the extensions that her prep team put in her hair. </span>
</p><p><span>Johanna busied herself by flipping through the channels on the TV. It was all stupid. There were Capitol people talking about the tribute parade, Capitol people talking about the weather.</span> <span>(</span><em><span>Come on</span></em><span>, Johanna thought, </span><em><span>just take a fucking look outside!</span></em><span>) </span></p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until later, around midnight, that Johanna heard a knock on her door. When she opened it, she was a little shocked. Katniss Everdeen was one of the last people she'd expect to show up at her door at midnight. Nevertheless, she stayed collected. Johanna opened the door wider to let her in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She thought back to earlier, during the Tribute parade when she saw Katniss with Peeta, she’d gotten this weird feeling in her chest. Something had felt off. Johanna had seen it in Katniss’s eyes. She looked sad during all the speeches where Peeta was professing his love to her. She sounded very halfhearted when she was being all lovey with Peeta. Johanna knew Katniss had to stay with Peeta or there would be consequences with the Capitol. That wouldn’t be a problem soon, but Katniss, of course, didn’t know that. Johanna had been one of the people who was told the most about the rebel plan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Johanna I-” Katniss started. There was a look in her eyes that Johanna couldn’t quite read. “It’s just,” Katniss paused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me guess—you liked what you saw in the elevator and came back for more?” Johanna smirked, but when Katniss’s eyes widened and her cheeks flushed, Johanna couldn’t stop the glimmer of surprise that shone through her eyes</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna started to open her mouth to speak but Katniss stepped forward and kissed her. Although surprised for a moment, Johanna deepened the kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss pulled away and gave a raspy breath. Her eyes filled with want again and this time, Johanna was the one to initiate the kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna took control. The people in the Capitol all wanted to be on top of the Victors—it gave them some sense of power but screw that, Johanna decided, this wasn’t the Capitol people. This was </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> and this was her and Katniss’s decision.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna pushed Katniss into the wall behind the bed and used her hand to pin Katniss’s wrist to the wall. She kissed Katniss hard on the neck. She sucked and used some teeth. Katniss let out a sound and ground her hips against Johanna. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna got a rush of adrenaline to her very core.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The one night stands she’d chosen to have before—those had all been with Capitol people or even a few people back home. All of them had been when she was drunk and angry. They all wanted to be on top and take control. Johanna had let them. Not this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna shoved Katniss into the bed, earning an intense look of lust from her. “You like it when I’m on top, Everdeen?” Johanna drawled. Katniss flushed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was funny, Johanna thought, that despite having hardly ever had a conversation, she and Katniss knew each other. They’d watched each other’s Games, yes, but the two Victors had this natural sort of connection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss said a few words that were exactly what Johanna needed to hear. She got to work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next while was filled with Johanna’s name spilling over Katniss’s lips over and over again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After, the two fell asleep, sweaty and tangled in bedsheets. The raw emotion and physical effort of those past minutes, hours, whatever, were exhausting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna woke up first and made herself a cup of coffee. When Katniss finally began to stir, Johanna said, “Finally! Any longer and Haymitch would’ve come looking for you. There’s also Lover Boy to think about—he might wonder why you’re late.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of the usual few days spent in the Capitol for training, interviews and stuff, they were keeping the Tributes in the Capitol for </span>
  <em>
    <span>weeks</span>
  </em>
  <span>. They wanted a more bloody, brutal, and emotional Hunger Games for this Quarter Quell, so they were letting the Tributes train and connect with one another for longer. There were more interviews and such to keep people invested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Katniss pulled on yesterday’s clothes and was about to head out when Johanna stopped her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Try to make it look like you </span>
  <em>
    <span>weren’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>just fucked ‘til you screamed,” Johanna grinned, “go take a shower. Nobody cares if we’re late.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss and Johanna both quickly showered and got dressed. Katniss used some of the makeup that was in Johanna’s bathroom to cover the dark purple hickey Johanna had left on her neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I head to training first and you come a bit later so nobody knows we were together?” Katniss asked, pulling on a pair of leggings. Johanna nodded and Katniss opened the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Katniss left the room, Johanna flopped back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Katniss was </span>
  <em>
    <span>engaged </span>
  </em>
  <span>to Peeta. Surely she loved him and Johanna was looking into it too much, right? The look in Katniss’s eyes every time loving Peeta was brought up told Johanna otherwise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna argued with herself about this for a few minutes before she decided to head to training. When she arrived in the gym, Katniss and Peeta were engaged in a very touchy camouflaging session. Johanna felt her stomach tighten a little at the sight. She dismissed it and went over to the axe throwing station. She didn’t need any practice. She needed to release some of the anger that was pent up inside of her. She was mad at herself for being angry about… about what? The fact that she was in the Games again after being promised she was done with that? About the Capitol? That Katniss was with Peeta? That Katniss </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be with Peeta? All of these things were making her mad and it made her brain feel like it was going to explode because it was all </span>
  <em>
    <span>so much</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While being told about the rebel plan, it had been mentioned to Johanna that Katniss had to play up her romance with Peeta because Snow had threatened her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna Mason threw an axe.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I came up with the idea for this fic while listening to a song (Magnets by Disclosure, if you’re curious. The title came from a lyric in that song) Thanks to Jordan, who helped out with editing!</p><p>Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked the chapter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Confessions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Effie, would you please take Peeta and me to see some more of the Capitol? I wanted to see if before, well, you know…” Katniss trailed off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Katniss,” Effie said tearfully, “of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna overheard this conversation from just outside the door to the roof. She could see (hear, rather) right through Katniss’s fake-sad voice. Johanna knew why Katniss was avoiding being near her, and it was hilarious, in her opinion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Earlier, during training, the tributes had been paired up for a wrestling exercise. They had to wear special outfits to ensure nobody murdered one another. The ones who were unfit to wrestle and the ones who didn’t want to were able to sit out. It was being filmed to get the Capitol citizens riled up, so a lot of the Tributes decided to do it. Katniss and Johanna had been paired up together, and when Johanna tackled Katniss by straddling her and pinning her hands down, Katniss had let out, well, a sound. She disguised it convincingly enough as a grunt, but Johanna managed to see through it and had a laughing fit in the changing room afterward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss, Haymitch, Peeta, and Effie walked off of the roof. “Hey, Everdeen. Training earlier was fun!” Johanna winked and Katniss went bright red, then conveniently had to bend down to tie her shoe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna walked out to the roof and entertained herself by tossing things off and getting them thrown back at her by the forcefield that kept Tributes from throwing themselves off the building. Johanna would very much have liked to throw herself off the top floor of a very tall building at one point, but that urge was mostly gone now that she had a rebel plan to help with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had just been pelted in the face with a pebble after throwing it just a little too far to the side when Finnick arrived on the roof. “Nice shot, Johanna!” He smiled good-naturedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, go fuck yourself,” Johanna grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two sat in comfortable silence for a bit, watching as the Capitol bustled on below them. Johanna despised them for living so normally while such horrible things were happening to human beings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Think we’ll be dead this time a couple weeks from now?” Johanna broke the silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finnick leaned in close in case there were cameras or mics somewhere. He covered his lips with his hand for good measure. “You know, that’s not exactly guaranteed this time around. Our goal is to protect Katniss until the rebels come to get us out of there. Let’s just try to stick around until then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although Finnick’s words comforted Johanna a bit, she still knew dying was definitely a possibility. The Tributes had been told in varying degrees of detail about the rebel plan. There were still going to be some deaths, and everyone was told to act as if it was a normal Games so the viewers would have zero suspicion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going back down to my room,” Johanna said. She hoisted herself up by putting her hand on Finnick’s shoulder. That was the affection she was willing to give him, and she knew he could tell she was being nice. Finnick seemed lost in his thoughts, but he gave her a nod nonetheless.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Several days passed and Katniss and Johanna had slept together on multiple occasions, but now Katniss was actively avoiding Johanna. She could tell that Katniss was feeling conflicted because of Peeta. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna had just woken up from taking a nap because being in the Capitol was so incredibly boring when she couldn’t leave the Tribute Center. At least, when she was a mentor, she could go out with the other mentors. Even if the Capitol sucked, it was a relief to get away from all the complicated emotions that came along with the Games.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She poured herself a drink, then another. Then another. She’d have a hell of a fucking hangover tomorrow but this was how she wanted to deal with things. She usually didn’t get wasted. In her home district, alcohol was something to be appreciated and sipped among family and friends. The small amount of wine that was made in 7 was typically enjoyed in moderation because getting drunk on such a nice drink seemed like a waste. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not this cheap Capitol shit. It tasted like poison and pure alcohol. It burnt Johanna’s throat but she didn’t care because it dulled her emotions for a while. She stopped drinking before she got blackout drunk because she had somewhere she decided she needed to go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna walked to the elevator and pressed the button for the twelfth floor. Maybe it was the drink talking, but she had to go see Katniss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Johanna, what are you doing here?” Katniss hissed and pulled her into her room, “What if someone else had been in here with me?” Katniss looked exasperated. “And are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>drunk</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna didn’t answer her question and instead said, “I’m going to be real with you here for a minute and I need you to shut up until I’m done talking, okay?” Her words slurred slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, 12, I’ll give it to you straight. I hate you. I hate that glint you get in your eyes when you pick up that bow and arrow. I hate how you fucking force yourself to be someone that you’re not,” she paused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mostly,” Johanna sighed and closed her eyes, “I hate how you make me feel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss raised her eyebrows. “And how’s that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna stumbled a little and leaned against the doorway. “I don’t know what to call it. Maybe I’d like us to be more than just sex, you know? I know you’re not happy with Lover Boy. I’ve seen how you act when he professes his love to you. I can tell you’re not in love with him. You looked mortified when you came to 7 on your Victory Tour and Peeta gave that speech comparing you to a pastry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss went beet red. “I mean,” she said, “all of what you said was right. But I do like Peeta! I just don’t think I like him in the same way he likes me, you know?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I understand,” Johanna’s voice was softer than usual, “but you can’t let a </span>
  <em>
    <span>word </span>
  </em>
  <span>of that slip, alright? It’s crucial.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. I’m good at keeping secrets,” Katniss’s tone was almost flirtatious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure you are, Everdeen,” Johanna said, flopping down on Katniss’s bed. The two fell asleep side by side. Neither woke with nightmares. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna roused out of a deep sleep. She looked around the room and sat up quickly. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she thought. She didn’t remember very much from last night. She knew she’d given some stupid speech to Katniss about how she liked her. She cringed at the faint memory. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her head was pounding and she felt like she was going to throw up. She dragged herself out of bed and went into the bathroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Digging through the cabinets, she found the locked pill bottle and put her code into it. It dispensed two. The pills wouldn’t dispense for the same code until it had been six hours since the last ones had been taken—and because they wanted to make sure the Tributes didn’t off themselves, the bottle knew when the pills had been taken. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The painkillers kicked in quickly. When she went back into the bedroom, Katniss was awake. “Morning, Girl on Fire.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning, Jo,” Katniss paused, “Why don’t you ever call me by my name?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, would you like it if I called you </span>
  <em>
    <span>Katniss</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Johanna purred the last part. Katniss’s breathing got a little more audible and Johanna grinned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two had been making out for several minutes when the door opened. “Katniss, you’re supposed to be getting ready for-” Haymitch stopped when he saw what was going on. “Johanna?” He laughed, “Oh, of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss had thrown herself away from Johanna as soon as she saw Haymitch but Johanna hadn’t moved. “Haymitch, I-” Katniss started. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, sweetheart. I’ve known about this. You could’ve at least tried to hide all of the eye-sex you’ve been having across the room from one another. I won’t ask any questions, but both of you, not a </span>
  <em>
    <span>word</span>
  </em>
  <span> about this to </span>
  <em>
    <span>anybody</span>
  </em>
  <span>, okay? And you’ve got training and some interviews in half an hour,” Haymitch said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the door closed, Johanna laughed. Katniss looked exasperated. “We </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be more careful!” she retorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, Everdeen.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you liked the chapter, thanks so much for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. One Last Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Johanna was the one avoiding Katniss this time. After her confession, Johanna found herself lost in thought more often than usual. She hadn’t felt this way about somebody in years. She couldn’t really feel this way about Katniss, could she? Katniss was already on thin ice with Snow, and Johanna didn’t want to risk anything.</p><p>
  <span>After training, Johanna was going to the changing room to clean the camouflage off of her body. She heard a sniffle and the sound of somebody choking back sobs. She was used to people (especially other Tributes) crying, so she ignored it, walked up to the sink and started to scrub her face. From the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse in the mirror of who was crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, Katniss?” She asked before she could think about what she was saying. Katniss, who was huddled in a corner, lifted her head slightly. Her face was blotchy and tear-streaked. The two held eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time, neither were quite sure what they were supposed to do in this situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Johanna sighed and sat down on the floor a few feet away from Katniss. Times were stressful what with the next day being the last day before the Games, so Johanna thought it was fine to talk to Katniss even though she was avoiding her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” Katniss said, turning her head away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cut the bullshit, Katniss,” Johanna rolled her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, but don’t judge me for this,” Katniss said, “I’m going to die in a few days--I’m fine with that for a lot of really complicated reasons, but it’s just hitting me hard that I’m just not going to exist in a few days time--that all these people I’ve been getting to know, all but one of them are going to be dead.  I have to go back into the Arena. If I make it past the bloodbath, I’ll have to hear the stupid Capitol anthem and watch people I know’s names and pictures in the sky. That was a little more bearable my first time in the Games because I didn’t really know any of the people except for Peeta!” She paused. Bloodshot gray eyes met anxious brown ones. Katniss’s voice broke, “Maybe this time, Peeta isn’t the one I want to win,” she buried her face in her knees, which she had pulled to her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Biting her tongue was all Johanna could do for a few moments. What did Katniss mean by her last sentence? It was painful to hear Katniss talk about the fact that she was going to die when it really wasn’t true. The Rebels would come in eventually to take Katniss and the remaining Tributes to District 13 but Katniss didn’t know that. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>know that. Johanna had no idea what to say, so she winged it, trying to hide the emotion in her voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing we can do about it so my advice is just to pretend it isn’t real and think about whatever makes you freak out less. I like to think, like, in two weeks, I won’t be feeling this way. Of course I’ll be dead but I don’t need to tell my brain that,” Johanna’s voice faltered and she felt her throat tighten. Her eyes began to burn. She would </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>cry right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna stood up and ran out of the changing room without saying anything else. She bit the inside of her cheek and made her way quickly to the elevator and pressed the button for the fourth floor. She found Finnick’s door unlocked and she swung it open to find him quietly reading on his bed. He looked over at her. “What’s up?” he asked, putting his book down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna opened her mouth to speak and instead, against her will, she burst into tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” Finnick stood up, “What’s going on? Is everything okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes! I mean, no. I mean, it’s fine,” Johanna stumbled over her words and started to pace around the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it Katniss?” Finnick asked bluntly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna stopped in her tracks. “What the fuck?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just saying--I’ve seen both of you arrive late to training together. You didn’t even try to hide your sex hair, Jo. Also, I’ve seen how much you guys stare at each other,” Finnick explained casually.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to go get this camouflage off. I’m using your shower,” Johanna ducked into the bathroom quick enough to hide the fact that her face had gone red. She showered, got dressed and walked back into the bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t get to avoid the question. We’re going into the Hunger Games in two days, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>none </span>
  </em>
  <span>of this is going to matter. Do you and Katniss have something going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Johanna admitted, “Katniss and I have been fucking. That’s all. Why do you care?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finnick breathed deep. “I just wanted to know. I want the best for you, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess. By the way, I wasn’t supposed to tell anybody so please, keep your mouth shut.” </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“I hate it,” Johanna pulled angrily at the neck of her interview dress, “could you dress a Tribute from 7 as anything </span>
  <em>
    <span>other </span>
  </em>
  <span>than a tree? I know you’re an idiot, but it’s not that hard to take a moment to look at literally anything about District 7 and realize that we’re not just a district full of trees."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The stylist swiped on the last of Johanna’s eyeliner and turned on her heel. </span>
  <span>“Go backstage now, Johanna,” she said and left the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna took a look at herself in the mirror and laughed at the ridiculous outfit, then headed backstage. She saw Katniss and nearly gasped. She was in a wedding dress. “What’s with the wedding dress, 12?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want to wear it but Snow’s making me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna gently adjusted the pearl necklace Katniss was wearing and looked into her eyes. With that look, Johanna spoke all the words she would never dare to say out loud. She hoped Katniss could read what she was trying to say with her eyes. </span>
</p><p>“Make him pay for it.”</p><p>
  <span>“I will,” Katniss nodded and turned back to Peeta, playing up the romance for the other Tributes. Johanna took to chatting with Finnick. The Capitol anthem played and Johanna fought back the memories from her Hunger Games that were trying to force themselves into her head. She tended to be more vulnerable to her memories when she was in a big group of people in the Capitol. The Tributes were called to the stage to stand until it was their turn to be interviewed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The interviews went by too quickly and too slowly at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Johanna Mason, District 7!” Caesar Flickerman called out. A bright spotlight shone over Johanna and she stepped forward, channeling every ounce of her anger toward the cameras.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I think it’s stupid,” Johanna said in a terse tone in response to a question about how she felt about going back into the Hunger Games, “I was promised that I’d never have to go back to the Games, and look where we fucking are!” Johanna laughed sharply and gestured around her. She stomped her foot on the ground so hard her high heel threatened to crack. “So what I have to say is fuck this, and fuck everybody who had anything to do with it!” She put up her middle finger toward the crowd and hoped they felt every single ounce of hatred she was projecting at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before her buzzer could go off, Johanna turned around and went back to her spot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s Johanna for you!” Caesar laughed (Johanna thought he sounded a little uncomfortable) and called the next Tribute to the stage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss’s interview was spectacular, in Johanna’s opinion. She was the right amount of lovey toward Peeta, even revealing that she’d already married him. Johanna knew this wasn’t true, but she thought it was an awesome way to get the Capitol’s attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Peeta got called to the stage, he wouldn’t shut up about Katniss. When he revealed Katniss’s “pregnancy” Johanna had to bite back a laugh. It was a good tactic--it got the audience riled up. She thought she saw a few audience members faint. When she felt Blight reach for her hand, Johanna knew exactly what to do. She grabbed the person on her other side’s hand. Johanna glanced over at Katniss, and was pleased to see that she’d understood what was going on. Once everybody was linked, they all raised their hands in the air. The lights turned off, but not before the cameras got a clear shot of the Tributes of the 75th Hunger Games joined hand in hand.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Johanna had gone to sit on the roof because she couldn’t sleep, but she hung back when she heard Peeta’s voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Katniss, would you be honest with me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. What’s on your mind?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s been going on? You seem to either not be there when I knock on your door, or you tell me I can’t come in. You’re always coming to training late and distracted. I swear, I can’t get a minute alone with you,” Peeta seemed to say this as if he’d rehearsed it multiple times. Johanna thought that he probably had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a long, silent pause before Katniss spoke up. “The Games have been freaking me out a lot lately, you know? I do a lot of pacing around the Tribute Center because I feel like if I’m not moving, I’m thinking too much, and I panic when I think too much. I’ve also been coming up here a lot, it’s nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was another pause, much longer this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If that’s all there is.” Peeta’s voice was doubtful. Johanna heard him stand up and she hid behind a pillar. Being caught eavesdropping could cause suspicion and Johanna didn’t want to risk that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Peeta was gone, Johanna joined Katniss on the roof. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Katniss said, not looking at Johanna. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey yourself,” Johanna sat by Katniss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to talk about the interviews,” Katniss’s voice was tight, like she was trying not to cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me neither,” Johanna reached out, and in a rare moment of affection, she brushed a loose strand of hair out of Katniss’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a comfortable silence before Katniss spoke again, “Can I kiss you? You know, before tomorrow when-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna leaned in before Katniss finished her sentence, and Katniss didn’t care to finish before she pressed her lips to Johanna’s. The kiss was long and desperate, and in that moment, to Johanna, it felt like there was nobody in the world other than herself and Katniss.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading!</p><p> Happy holidays, everyone!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Allies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The first thing Johanna noticed when she entered the Arena was that she couldn’t hear properly. Her ears were ringing loudly, but she didn’t care. She needed to know where Katniss was. After looking around for a few seconds, she figured two things out. One was that her ears weren’t ringing, she was hearing the ocean, and two, Katniss was a few spokes over from her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The gong sounded and Johanna jumped into the water. She swam as fast as she could toward the island that held the Cornucopia. Once she reached the island, she hoisted herself up onto the beach and ran toward the golden horn. Seeing an axe, she sprinted toward it, grabbed it, and ran away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as she was about to leave the island, Johanna saw Beetee and Wiress. She’d been told to get them for Katniss. Johanna grabbed Wiress and told her to come along—Beetee was laying on the ground, clutching something. He had a wound on his back, but Johanna figured out that it wasn’t too bad when he was able to get up. She was just about to figure out how to get them all off of the island when her district partner, Blight, approached her. A wordless glance between them confirmed that they would be allies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna and Blight tried to figure out how to get all of them off of the island. Neither Beetee nor Wiress could swim too well. Eventually, they thought to walk along the lines of rocks separating the pairs of platforms. The lines of rocks were just big enough to walk on. It was a slow process that involved Johanna getting accidentally shoved into the water several times and losing her axe, but it worked. After a while, they made it to land.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They ended up finding some leaves that Johanna recognized from training, so she knew they were edible. They made her lips swell and her throat get tight, but everybody else seemed to be fine and she needed the food, so she just dealt with it. The rest of the day was spent hiking around the Arena. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna decided to take the night watch because she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep. Blight eventually woke up to take watch and Johanna fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion. She woke up a couple of hours later and couldn’t get back to sleep, so she offered to take watch again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blight, Beetee, and Wiress all slept in. Johanna decided they’d be easier to deal with if they weren’t sleepy, so she waited until the first one stirred to wake everyone up. She was incredibly thirsty. “Let’s get a move on,” she said, “we can try to find some water.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nature seemed to be Johanna’s friend that day because she saw a flash of lightning and heard it start to rain several yards away. “Come on, let’s go!” Johanna pointed toward the rain and broke into a run. She opened her mouth to try and coat her dry tongue with rain but her mouth was met with thick, hot blood. She screamed out in disgust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blood rain began to come down harder and Johanna tried to call for the others, but her mouth just filled with blood. She stumbled around blindly, trying to find her way out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a horrible electrical sound, then the gurgled scream of somebody whose mouth was filled with blood. Then a cannon. Johanna forced her eyes open and saw Blight’s body on the ground. He had hit a forcefield of some sort. A surge of something really complicated rushed through Johanna’s chest. She didn’t know Blight too well, but he was from home. He was a man of few words, but Johanna saw him as a comfort of sorts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blood rain stopped after several more minutes. “Let’s go,” Johanna choked out, spitting some blood on the ground. Wiress began to sing a nursery rhyme about a mouse and a clock. “Stop it, will you?” Johanna asked in an annoyed tone. Wiress stopped singing after a while and started saying “tick, tock” in increasingly panicked tones. Beetee just trudged along behind them, pale because of the blood loss from his back. The cut wasn’t too deep, but it definitely needed care. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna wanted to walk the Arena until she found Katniss and whoever she was with. She remembered a conversation she’d had with Katniss the night before the games. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You know, during the Games, I’m going to have to pretend that I don’t like you,” Johanna had said.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Won’t that be difficult?” Katniss asked.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Johanna wanted to say something about the rebel plan, about how, if Johanna lived, they wouldn’t ever have to pretend not to like each other again. Instead, she nodded.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s weird, you know? I had to pretend to love Peeta, and now I’ll have to pretend to hate you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well,” Johanna said, “it’s mostly because of the persona the Capitol gives me that I hate just about everyone. You don’t have to pretend to hate me. What would you have against me? The Capitol might be confused by that. I just have to pretend that you bother me a lot.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That makes sense,” Katniss snuggled into Johanna’s arms, and after a long pause, she asked, “Would you stay?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course,” Johanna said. Katniss looked up at her and gave a watery smile.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna was pulled abruptly out of her memory. She’d been so distracted that she tripped over a log and skinned both of her elbows. She cried out, not in pain, but in frustration with herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All that was pushed away when they reached the beach and she saw Finnick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Finnick!” Johanna shouted. She couldn’t help how excited she was to see him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened to you? Why are you all covered in blood?” He asked, gesturing at Johanna, Beetee, and Wiress.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna explained about the blood rain. She continued in what she hoped was an unaltered tone even when she saw Katniss coming around the corner. When Katniss reached them, Wiress walked up to Johanna and yelled, “Tick, tock!” right in her ear. Johanna pushed her to the sand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay down, won’t you?” Johanna snapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, lay off her!” Katniss spoke up, her voice a little unsure. Johanna thought she didn’t know exactly what sort of act to keep up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Lay off her?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Johanna smacked Katniss, who clutched the knife at her belt. “Go on,” Johanna said, “I don’t care if you’re knocked up, I’ll rip your throat out,” she gave Katniss a look she hoped the cameras would think was hate but Katniss would know was an explanation. The look Katniss gave her back gave Johanna mixed signals, but in a few days, none of this would matter. Johanna, if she was alive and there was time during the rebellion, thought she might tell Katniss she did it for show. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna was sleep-deprived and exasperated, so after Wiress got up and knocked into her, still tick-tocking, Johanna went off cursing like a sailor. She felt like she was going insane with hunger and thirst and anger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finnick threw Johanna over his shoulder and brought her to the ocean, dunking her in a few times until she calmed down and was less covered in blood. Johanna thanked Finnick quietly and headed back to the beach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you guys got anything to eat?” Johanna asked Finnick, “I’m starving!” Finnick provided Johanna with a few shellfuls of water and some seafood, and all was quiet for a while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next few hours were spent calming down the chaos the morning had brought on. Breaking a comfortable lull in the intermittent conversation, Wiress started saying, “Tick, tock!” Again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We get it, tick, tock, Nuts is in shock. I’m going to sleep now.” Johanna said, flinging herself down next to where Finnick was sitting. She fell asleep almost instantly, but was soon woken up by Katniss, who was urging everyone to get a move on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a clock! That’s why Wiress has been saying tick, tock so much. Tick, tock, the Arena’s a clock!” Katniss explained, picking up what little belongings she had on the beach. Johanna listened sleepily as Katniss explained, gesturing wildly, how the clock in the Arena worked. Johanna smiled to herself--Katniss was so smart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before they could leave the beach, Johanna handed Beetee the wire he refused to leave without. Johanna was so preoccupied with other things that it took a reminder from Katniss for her to realize that Beetee wanted the wire because he’d won his Hunger Games with a wire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The group of allies made their way to the Cornucopia to get a better view of how the clock worked. While Peeta drew the Arena on a leaf, Johanna poked around in the Cornucopia and found a couple of axes. She threw one of them hard enough that it stuck in the sun-softened outside of the Cornucopia. Katniss gave her a surprised look and Johanna winked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peeta called them over to look at his diagram of the clock. They all mentioned what they knew about each of the sections, and Peeta added it in. As much as Johanna resented him, she could admit that Peeta was good at this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Wiress stopped singing her nursery rhyme and there was a cannon. Johanna whipped her head around and saw Gloss running away from Wiress, who had a bleeding slit in her throat. Katniss shot Gloss through the temple with an arrow. Johanna was impressed (but not surprised) by her precision. Johanna saw Cashmere come around the corner of the Cornucopia. Without hesitation, she tackled Cashmere and drove her axe into her chest. As soon as the cannon went off, Johanna pulled the axe out and ran back to the others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Enobaria and Brutus were already running down a strip of rocks and toward the jungle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the moment it took Johanna to catch her breath, the ground jolted beneath her and began to spin rapidly. She reflexively grabbed Katniss’s hand and when they both fell, she planted her axe into the ground to keep them steady. In the last second that the ground was spinning, Katniss slipped out of Johanna’s reach. She had tried to yell to Katniss to keep holding on, but instead got a mouthful of saltwater. The ground stopped spinning. No matter how dizzy she was, what mattered to Johanna was that Katniss was okay. She ran over to her and helped her up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You good?” Johanna asked in a softer tone than usual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss coughed up some water, then stood up straighter and said, “I’m okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna nearly hugged Katniss but instead placed her hand on her shoulder. “Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a silence as everybody stood on the island, appreciating the fact that they were alive. “Where’s Volts?” Johanna asked. Finnick looked around, shielding his eyes from the sun. He pointed to the water, where Beetee was barely managing to stay afloat. Finnick swam out and hauled Beetee back to the island.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss got a frantic look in her eyes and looked out into the water. Without an explanation, she ran down a strip of rocks and to Wiress’s body, which was floating in the water. Johanna remembered that Wiress had Beetee’s wire. She knew that Katniss knew how important the wire was to Beetee, but why, in the name of Panem, would she wrench it out of the arms of a dead woman for him? Katniss got back and gave Beetee his wire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna realized that although it felt like hours, all of that chaos that had just taken place only lasted a few minutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess our clock is messed up now,” Peeta looked around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well no shit, pretty boy,” Johanna sounded impatient.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t doubt that they shifted both this island and the outer ring, so I think it’s best to wait until one of our marked events happens. That way we can be back on track,” Finnick explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But we should still get off the island. Anyone got a good feeling about where we should go?” Johanna asked, squeezing some excess water out of her hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They chose a path at random and walked down the rocks and toward the jungle. “It doesn’t look like anything’s going on in this section. I’ll try to tap a tree to get some water,” Finnick said, “Katniss, want to come guard?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss walked off with Finnick, and Johanna was left with Peeta, who was drawing a new map of the Arena, and Beetee, who was fiddling with his wire. She decided to take the spare time to survey the area. Just as she was about to head into the ocean to clean off, she heard the screams begin. Katniss was calling her little sister’s name, and Finnick was calling his lover, Annie’s name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hearing Katniss so distressed, instincts kicked in, and Johanna went running toward the forest, but she hit an invisible wall. Peeta ran up to the wall. Johanna tried smacking the wall with her axe, but it didn’t leave a dent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither Katniss nor Finnick saw the wall, and both ran into it. Finnick was left with a bloody nose but Katniss had caught herself with her shoulder. Johanna could see Katniss and Finnick’s lips moving, but there was no sound. Johanna soon saw the birds and realized that jabberjays were recreating the screams and they weren’t coming from real people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was agony, watching Katniss shooting at the birds but still being met with screams no matter how many she killed. Johanna pounded her hand on the wall to get Katniss’s attention, and when Katniss looked at her, she put her hand against the wall. Katniss put her hand against the wall as well, and they made eye contact. Birds began to swarm in at a rate that Katniss didn’t seem to be able to keep up with. Eventually, Katniss gave up and curled beside Finnick. After a long time, the wall was lifted and the Jabberjays were gone</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna bit her lip when Peeta was comforting Katniss. She so badly wanted to take Katniss into her arms and tell her that everything would be okay, but she couldn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beetee explained that the voices were edited and nobody was tortured. “Volts and Peeta are right, Katniss. There’s no way they tortured or killed your little sister--the whole world adores her. If they did hurt or kill her, there’d probably be some sort of uprising,” Johanna said as casually as she could manage, then tipped her head toward the sky and shouted, “Imagine, the whole country in rebellion! The Capitol wouldn’t want anything like that, would they?” Johanna smiled at how shocked, and slightly impressed, Katniss looked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As swiftly as she could, Johanna picked up some shells and said, “I’m going to get some water.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss grabbed her hand, “I know the birds are gone, but I don’t want anyone going in there,” she urged. Johanna looked down at Katniss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They can’t hurt me. I’m not like the rest of you guys, there’s nobody left I love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the jungle, as she collected some water and Katniss’s arrows, Johanna contemplated whether or not what she’d just said was true. Was there anyone she loved?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna thought back to all she’d done for Katniss. Could she really love her?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d let Katniss into her room that one night at midnight even though they hardly knew one another then. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna had gone out of her way to tease Katniss, as that was one of the only ways she was still comfortable showing affection. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna had never had a kiss as filled with emotion as the one she’d had with Katniss on the roof the night before the Games. Most of the kisses she’d had before that had been drunken and insincere.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna’s heart sped up as she realized that she might, for the first time in years, love somebody.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Happy New Year, and thank you so much for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Sabotage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next day, Johanna didn’t wake up until the sun was high overhead. The previous evening, she’d had some leaves from the jungle because Finnick had sworn that they were awesome with the seafood, but they ended up having the same effect as the ones that made her throat and lips swell, but they also made her exhausted. Once again, everyone else was fine, so Johanna decided that she'd just had some sort of weird allergic reaction and that it would be best not to eat anything else from the jungle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Johanna,” Katniss said gently, “wake up, we’re about to go over a plan to sabotage the careers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna stretched and got up. She and Katniss walked over to where everyone else was and sat down in the half-circle. Johanna was reminded of her school days. They’d always sat in a half-circle around the teacher for important lessons. Right now, it was like Beetee was the teacher, and the rest of the group were the students. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beetee explained the plan in its entirety. Most of it made sense, except for some of the technical stuff, which Beetee said he would be dealing with so it was okay that they didn’t understand. The gist of it was that they would be electrifying the ocean and beach using Beetee’s wire, thus eliminating the ocean as a food source, and electrocuting everyone on the beach. Beetee decided that it would be better to do the plan the next day because the next time the lightning tree would strike was at midnight, so they would all have a free day and do the plan the next day at noon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although there was anticipation for the career sabotage, Johanna knew that the Gamemakers would be bored watching them have a free day and might throw something into the arena to cause some bloodshed. She knew exactly what to do here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She walked by Katniss and whispered, “Play up the pregnancy and the romance with loverboy,” and grinned like she’d just insulted her or told her a joke or something so there wouldn’t be suspicion as to why she was whispering to Katniss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later, when Johanna had laid down for a nap, Katniss, who was on the other side of the beach, put her hands on her stomach and exclaimed, “Peeta! I just felt the baby kick!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was some conversation between the two and Johanna internally praised Katniss for creating some distractions for the viewers. When Johanna woke up from her nap, she saw Katniss and Peeta kissing, and knowing Katniss wasn’t comfortable with that, she got up and called out, “Get a room, lovebirds!” and Katniss and Peeta stopped kissing. Johanna went and sat down by the water, tracing patterns in the sand with her fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That evening, Katniss and Johanna decided to take the first watch together. Johanna was thinking about the rebel plan. She figured the rebels would likely come to rescue the remaining Tributes shortly after they sabotaged the Careers the next day. A flicker of hope arose in her chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Johanna?” Katniss’s voice brought Johanna out of her thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?” Johanna asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For getting Beetee and Wiress for me, and for being my ally,” Katniss paused for long enough that Johanna thought she was finished speaking. Just as Johanna was about to reply, Katniss opened her mouth to say something, then closed it. After another moment of silence, she shook her head and sighed, “Just--thank you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem, Everdeen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a while of sitting in silence, Katniss fell asleep sitting upright. Johanna woke her and walked her over to where everybody else was sleeping. Finnick and Peeta offered to take the next shift, but Johanna told Peeta he could go back to sleep while she and Finnick guarded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you want to get some sleep?” Finnick asked once he and Johanna had settled on the beach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really,” Johanna left it at that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finnick didn’t reply. Johanna liked that about him. He knew she didn’t want to talk, so he didn’t try to make her.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Everyone was up bright and early the next morning to get an early start on the sabotage. After a breakfast of shellfish, they headed toward the area that held the lightning tree. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they got there and everyone was settled, Beetee said, “It’s going to take me a bit to get the tree ready,” and bent down to start getting the tree hooked up to the wire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few hours, Beetee announced that he had finished with the tree, and two members of the group were to go place the wire, then get as far away from the beach as possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was decided that Johanna and Katniss would place the wire, Beetee would stay to make sure the wire was working right, and Finnick and Peeta would stay to guard. Just before Katniss and Johanna were going to leave, Finnick pulled Johanna into a hug and whispered, “Remember what to do when the rebels come, I have a feeling they’ll come soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, stop being such a sap, I won’t get myself electrocuted, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>promise</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Johanna snorted and rolled her eyes, pretending that all he’d said was a simple, “Stay safe!” and not anything about the rebellion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take the wire first,” Johanna said as they began to walk. She placed it carefully as they moved. There wasn’t any further conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can take the wire for a while,” Katniss said after they’d been walking for several minutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Johanna said, and just as she was passing the wire to Katniss, there was a slight buzz, then a jolt as the wire they’d been placing snapped back. Katniss and Johanna’s eyes met as they realized that somebody had cut the wire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna saw one of the signals that the rebels were coming and, although she didn’t want to hurt Katniss, she knew what she had to do. She took the metal casing of the wire and bashed it against Katniss’s head. She knocked Katniss down and pinned her wrist down. Now came the hard part, cutting out the tracker. Johanna didn’t want to make Katniss bleed, but it was for the rebellion, so she took out her knife, tore open Katniss’s forearm with it, and ripped out the tracker. Later, in District 13, she’d explain why she did it and she’d promise Katniss she’d never hurt her again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay down,” Johanna whispered. Not caring about any cameras, she kissed Katniss hard on the lips, then ran off to find Finnick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With no luck in finding Finnick, Johanna hid. She looked up and saw an arrow hit the forcefield in the sky, thus speeding up the part of the rebel plan that was supposed to take the longest, which was breaking into the Arena. Johanna knew instantly who had shot the arrow. She grinned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, the explosions started. All around her, everything was exploding and bursting into flames and it was all so loud. Johanna hoped with all her heart that Katniss was okay. A few moments later, some shrapnel hit Johanna, who was distracted and confused by the fireworks that had just started to go off, on the head, and she blacked out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few seconds later, Johanna woke up in a claw that was lifting her into a hovercraft. Because her heart was beating, she knew she was alive and not being shipped off to District 7 to be buried, but instead being taken to District 13.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was only when she arrived inside of the hovercraft that Johanna realized she was not headed for safety.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I've had a lot of writer's block these past couple of days, but I got through it by re-reading some of Catching Fire and getting inspired. The next chapter should be up soon!</p><p>I hope you're all doing well!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW for torture.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Johanna, who was strapped to a bed, saw a few people near her that were also strapped into beds. Peeta and Enobaria were there, and for some reason, so was Annie Cresta.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna checked several times to make sure that Katniss wasn’t there. She hoped the hovercraft Katniss was on was headed for District 13.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somebody walked up to Johanna and used a syringe to inject a sedative into her arm. She fought to keep consciousness until, eventually, she succumbed to the drug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Johanna came to, the first thing she felt was metal. She was naked and strapped to a metal table. “You’re awake,” a monotonous voice said and Johanna heard footsteps as somebody walked closer to her. She struggled against her restraints. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to tell me about the rebel plan,” the person stated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know anything about a rebel plan,” Johanna said as convincingly as she could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A large bucket of ice-cold water was thrown over Johanna, and she did not make a sound. That was what they wanted. They wanted her to scream and confess but she would not. She was surprised that a bucket of cold water was all they were using.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then there was voltage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The torturer stuck something sharp into Johanna’s hip and white-hot pain exploded through her body. It felt like everything inside of her was being crushed and torn and lit on fire. Johanna did not scream. Then, the power was ramped up and she was doused with cold water again. She screamed</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>she couldn’t help it. She decided that silence wasn’t the way to go, so she screamed again as they turned up the voltage more. Then it stopped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>said</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Miss Mason, that you will tell me about the rebel plan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you,” Johanna spat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s try this again,” the torturer said as if they were talking to a child, “I expect you to tell me this time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This went on for hours</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>the torturer asked Johanna questions, to which she responded with cussing or silence. Then, she was doused in water, a sharp tool was stabbed into somewhere on her body, and she was shocked and asked questions again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna simply refused to give them the information that they wanted. They could kill her, Johanna didn’t care, as long as Katniss was safe in District 13 and the rebel plan could move forward. Johanna knew that Peeta wouldn’t give up any information, and that Annie Cresta didn’t know anything about the plan, there was no way Finnick would risk telling her. Enobaria, too, knew nothing about the plan, but she was a Career so Johanna doubted she was being tortured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a long time, Johanna was unstrapped from the table and given a plain, thin nightgown to wear. She sat down in the corner of her cell with her knees to her chest. She went to run her fingers through her hair and found her head shaved bald.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Several hours later, Johanna heard shouts of anger coming from the cell next to hers and it took her a moment to place the voice. It was Peeta. Right, He was in the Capitol, too. That, combined with Johanna being gone, had to have Katniss completely unhinged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! Johanna was supposed to be in District 13 with Katniss, training and preparing to overthrow the Capitol. Did nobody think to warn her that she could be trapped in a Capitol prison? Johanna was irate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she got angry, Johanna got restless. She paced her cell for hours on end, and when that wasn’t enough, she screamed and pounded at the concrete floor until her knuckles were bloody and raw and she fell asleep out of exhaustion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she woke, there was metal and water and voltage again. This time for several more hours. After the first few hundred times she was jabbed with that electric torture device, Johanna dissociated. She could still feel the pain, but her brain was disconnected for the most part. She thought of home in District 7, some memories from her childhood. Particularly ones of her family.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>Johanna was fifteen and her little sister was four years old.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jo, what are the Hunger Games?” Johanna’s little sister asked.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I heard you and Mama talking about it.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“They’re something you don’t need to worry about for a long time,” Johanna helped her little sister into her boots and they were out the door into the rainy spring day.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah, but you were crying about them.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re very observant,” Johanna said, “here, I found a good puddle. Why don’t you see how big of a splash you can make?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Johanna’s little sister ran off and giggled, jumping into the puddle as hard as she could. Johanna thought about how she would have to explain the horrors of the Hunger Games to her little sister one day. She would have to explain all of those awful things to this innocent, sweet little girl who knew nothing but joy so far in her life. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Nice one!” Johanna called out when her little sister jumped again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Johanna’s sister looked hard at her and walked over, looking concerned. “You’re crying again.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, am I?” Johanna touched her face. It was wet with tears. She didn’t realize she had been crying. She cried a lot more back then. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why are you crying?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I just love you a lot. I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Johanna wiped her eyes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you too.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Johanna began to ache for her family. Her parents, all of her siblings--they were all dead. She remembered receiving the news that they had died. It was her first year as a mentor, just a few weeks after she’d refused to be a prostitute.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Johanna Mason?” A voice called.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What do you want? I’m working on sending something to one of my Tributes.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’ve got a call waiting from home.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Johanna stood up and went to the phone in the other room. It was the mayor on the phone.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Miss Mason, I’ve got some bad news.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What happened?” Johanna’s heart sped up.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What the mayor told her made Johanna go sheet-white. Her whole family had died. She knew it was her fault, despite the Mayor saying it had been an accident.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Johanna hung up the phone and left the room. She went into a supply room and screamed. She didn’t stop screaming, wailing, yelling, shouting, until someone came in, injected something into her arm, and she passed out. The Capitol seemed to do a whole lot of sedating people when they couldn’t handle them.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>After another torture session, all Johanna could do was lay on the freezing, hard floor of her cell. It wasn’t until what she assumed was late at night, that she began to cry. Quietly, sorrowfully, she grieved. For her family, for everything she had been expecting.

For Katniss.
</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Miserable</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW for torture and self-harm.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Johanna Mason was miserable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was weak, not being fed very much or very often. She was tortured several times a day, though she was never sure what time of day it was, and nothing ever seemed to stop hurting. She noticed something strange on her skin in the dim light of her cell--her veins had darkened to the point where they almost looked black. It wasn’t all of her veins, just the ones in places where she was routinely stabbed with the electric torture device. Her dark veins seemed to create twisted patterns around her body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Johanna was picking at a sore on her leg, she heard Peeta shouting again. This time, he was yelling Katniss’s name in a very angry tone. Before Johanna could listen any further, she had to have a round of torture of her own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt the agony everywhere. From the marrow of her bones to deep within her muscles to the tips of her fingers, there was pain. She knew that if she told about the rebel plan, they would stop torturing her, but she would never tell. They could keep her hooked up to this electrical current forever and she would never say a word. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna spent the several hours she was tortured screaming until her voice ceased to function. Even then, she kept trying to scream, but was met with painful bursts of air from her lungs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Being this miserable wasn’t new to Johanna. She had felt very similarly during her Hunger Games. She’d had more hope then, though. During her Games, she’d had a strategy, a way she could possibly win. The only hope she could cling onto now was the hope that the rebels might find her when they stormed the Capitol.</span>
  <span>Along with studying her wounds and darkened veins, Johanna studied her scars. The ones from before her first Games were gone--she’d been wiped completely clean of any marks after her Games. She was angry about that. She had sort of liked them, they were all from being out in the woods and they reminded her of home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, Johanna’s scars were mostly from scratching at her skin until it bled. She knew she shouldn’t, but it distracted her from whatever was going on. Right now, she was scratching at her skin because she was worried about Katniss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna was wondering how Katniss was doing, knowing that Johanna was in the Capitol. What if she wasn’t okay? What if 13 wasn’t as good as it was said to be? Worst of all, what if Katniss wasn’t in 13 at all and had been taken by a different hovercraft and Snow had killed her?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of the unknowns were driving Johanna crazy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t felt an ache in her heart like this in a long time. She missed Katniss </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>much. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Anger was what lit the fire in Johanna. There was so much to be angry about--the Capitol, the Hunger Games, injustice, forced prostitution. She used to be able to </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>something about that anger, though. Now, she was a</span>
  <span>ngrier than ever and had nothing to do about it other than scream, scratch her skin, and punch the floor. She wanted to be helping with the rebellion but she was stuck in a stupid, tiny, freezing Capitol cell and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <span>She remembered the breathing exercises that the stupid Capitol therapist had told her about. She was desperate, so she tried them for hours--breathing in for seven seconds, breathing out for eleven. Over and over again, she tried, but it didn’t work. Johanna decided that nothing would </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever </span>
  </em>
  <span>make her calm down, so she slumped against the wall and let herself stay miserable.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading, it means a lot to me!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Beats Per Minute</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>One hundred eighteen, one hundred nineteen, one hundred twenty, one hundred twenty-one.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna was counting her heartbeats when she heard loud voices and clanging coming from outside of her cell. These weren’t Capitol voices or words. These were rebels. Johanna wanted to stand up, but she hadn’t been able to do that for a while. She was weak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After getting the other Victors, the rebels arrived at Johanna’s cell and broke it open. “Miss Mason,” a voice said, “we’re going to take you to District 13,” Johanna decided to try to stand up, but the rebel stopped her and injected something into her arm that made her go unconscious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She woke up while she was being rolled through a hallway. She sat up and ripped off her breathing tube. She needed to see Katniss. She went to scream Katniss’s name, but all that came out was a whisper. Once she was in a hospital room, she was sedated once again. She awoke and asked for Katniss. She wanted to scream for her but her voice couldn’t do that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Haymitch was the one who came into her room. “What the fuck are you doing here? I need Katniss!” Johanna said, voice raspy from screaming so much for weeks on end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We had Katniss see Peeta first, but believe me, she begged to see you. Peeta was hijacked to think that Katniss was a murderous mutt, so he strangled her. We separated them early enough that there’s no severe damage. She’s recovering right now, and will see you once she’s cleared.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck that, I want to see her now,” Johanna glared at Haymitch. She wasn’t really mad at him. In fact, she liked that he told her how things were with no sugarcoating, but she couldn’t be rational until she saw Katniss and knew she was okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’ll be at most a couple of hours,” Haymitch said and left the room before Johanna could attempt to yell at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna laid restless in her hospital bed. She noticed that her teeth no longer ached as they had when she was in the Capitol cell and wasn’t able to take care of her teeth. Her wounds were also significantly better. She’d probably had her teeth and wounds taken care of while she was knocked out. Her body still hurt, but less than it had before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her thoughts were interrupted when someone came into the room. Johanna looked up and saw Katniss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Johanna!” Katniss nearly screamed. She ran over to Johanna’s bed and threw herself onto her. Johanna’s body hurt because it was still fragile, but she didn’t care as she kissed Katniss and revelled in the fact that she was finally here with her. Everything else going on seemed to dissolve because now she knew that Katniss was safe, and that was what mattered most to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss pulled away and looked Johanna over. She said, “You look </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrible</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice to see you too, Katniss!” Johanna said sarcastically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it like that! I’m sorry I-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johanna interrupted Katniss and laughed, “It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now that she knew Katniss was safe, she wanted to know about the rebellion. “Can you tell me what’s been going on here?” she asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting criss-cross on the end of Johanna’s bed, Katniss explained everything about the rebellion, starting with when she arrived in District 13. There was so much for Johanna to take in. The first thing she responded with was, “You’ve gotta be stressed out of your mind!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katniss laughed, “Yeah, I am, but it’s a lot better now that you’re here and I can stop stressing about whether or not you’re alive. They should’ve chosen you to be the Mockingjay. At least you have a little passion!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johana smiled, but her face fell when she saw that Katniss had a concerned look in her eyes. She didn’t want to tell Katniss about her torture. She didn’t need to know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, I promise. You don’t need to worry about me,” Johanna said and kissed Katniss, who had started to cry. After they pulled away, the two sat in silence for a while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you’re here,” Katniss broke the silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” Johanna said, and she meant it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> For the first time in a long time, her heart wasn’t beating a million beats per minute because she was terrified. Being in District 13 made her feel safe, but it was mostly knowing that Katniss was okay that calmed the terror within her. Now, although Johanna’s body was weak, her heart was beating strong and steady.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I decided to keep the reunion chapter short partly because of writer's block, and partly because I have a lot planned that I'm excited to write! Thanks so much for reading—Joniss is a kind of rare ship, so it's great to know that there are other shippers out there!</p><p>I hope you all have a great day/night!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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